Royal Museum of Nature and History

Interview with Professor John N. Fore, Researcher, Royal Kabbtan Museum of Nature & History, Dromfor

Hello and welcome to the Royal Museum of Nature and History! My name’s Professor Fore, and I’ll be your guide this morning. Follow me, and please keep your questions until after the tour, and do try to keep up, we have thousands of years to cover!

Righto, this is Hall of Myths, where you can see on our left examples of late 13th century pottery, found in a dig on the shore of Lake Janee by my predecessor, Professor Josnick. You’ll notice that these ceremonial pots show designs of sky serpents, which were terrifying beasts that destroyed cities by fire and ice – but only those cities where the citizens had turned to evil. You can see these styles are quite fanciful and creative, and the pottery remarkably durable. 

From somewhat later, around the early 15th century, are these bronze discs with these amazing drawings. Look how scary these creatures are! You can see in the fine artwork of their facial expressions that they are ready to come alive, leap out and tear your throat to ribbons!

The one on the left is, we think, supposed to be a vampire, a legendary blood-drinking night monster. It could fly unseen in the darkness, and killed by drinking the blood of innocents, making them into vampires too!

The next two are water beasts, or perhaps sea monsters, said to be active during the New Moon. They lived in any kind of water, like a river, a lake, even a water jug, and punished the wicked, sometimes by drowning or eating them alive.

This one shows a short stocky muscular creature, with what looks like a big beard, and carrying an axe or a spade. They were said to live deep in the earth and terrified miners who dug too far into the ground in their search for gold. 

The last two discs show creatures that look almost like centaurs, except they are made of glass or perhaps precious gems. It was believed they would hunt people who dared to enter their desert kingdom, impaling them on the millions of crystalline shards that protrude from their bodies. 

We think that these bronze discs were used as amulets of warding, to protect against whatever symbolic threat was depicted on them. Now, the creatures illustrated on the pottery and these bronzes never actually existed, of course. They merely represent certain fears that are common to all people: the dark, fire, snakes, and things that can’t be seen. 

Also, notice that their function is often to punish wrong-doers, criminals, and evil people. That’s why these bronzes were made: to make sure that these punishers do not mistakenly attack the innocent. 

You’ll notice that none of these protective amulets have the holy symbols of the Seven, which you’d probably expect should be there. And although you can’t see it, the experts at the Mage’s Guild have shown that none of these items are magical in any way, and never held arcane power. This just means that these items offered protection from imaginary threats. This does not mean they were useless – to those ancient peoples of the 13th, 14th and 15th centuries and beyond, they were precious and valuable, and were probably handed down through the generations.

Moving along, we come to these beautiful and mysterious weapons – two curious swords, an axe, and a mighty war hammer. These weapons date from the late 37th century, so more than one thousand years ago. The swords, made of bronze, are of unknown origin. Their craftsmanship suggests they come from the period of the Ursinican civil war. However, the symbols on the reverse are clearly Nubian, and at that time, the nation of Nubanon was also at war with itself. So this remains a mystery – which perhaps one of you fine young folk may solve some day!

The axe is another strange item, which was bequethed to the Museum by a wealthy collector from Pai. It appears to be a Barbarian weapon, judged by its size and various other markings. But it is known that the Barbarian peoples did not achieve this level of metallurgy for another 500 years.

And now, just look at this war hammer! By it’s style and decoration, it is clearly of Malanthean origin. You can see over here some illustrations of other Malanthean hammers and picks for comparison. What’s more, it comes from a time shortly before Malanthean independence, which was in 38,65. In fact, it was made on the 17th of June, 38,62! And we know this because the name of the weaponsmith, and the date of manufacture, is engraved on the shaft! I wish all the items in our collection came with these handy bits of information! But here’s the truly puzzling bit: the hammer was excavated in Sameer, a Janee city on the shores of Lake Janee, when the city’s harbour was extended: in the year 3000! Yes! I know, right? Our archaeologists and chronoleptors have confirmed that the engraving is authentic, and that the location of excavation has been undisturbed for millenia, until the harbour builders began draining a part of the lake to dig foundations for the outer walls. So here’s a true puzzle – how did a modern weapon get buried under ancient grounds?!

OK, around the corner, please follow me quickly, here on this side we have fine examples of Muhjanian silks, here, and magical scrolls here, dating to the 16th century. Next to them are these scrolls, from the last 21st century, and you can see that the magical writings and symbols are related but more complex. And don’t worry, you can safely read them, they’ve been Dispelled long ago! Or so I am told! 

Next we have exquisite stoneware, made of volcanic material, so we know it’s from Nubanon, specifically the south-eastern Aatish mountains, because that’s the only active volcano on Brundonica. It is an offering bowl, dedicated to Razim as you can see by the white inlay. The coins in the bowl, which were found there when excavated, are ancient Nubian, dating from the mid-32nd century, in other words, some of the first coins they minted. For comparison, these are modern Nubian coins. 

The next few cabinets contain some fascinating examples of coins, trade bars, and stone promissory notes, from around the 8th century up to today. But I notice our time is running out, so if you follow me, I’ll show you our oldest and most prized possession.

Right, here we are, please stay between these lines, you’ll see there are wards set up along here, and over there, and they are lethal. Madam, please keep that child well-behaved. 

So this is the Sphere of Anachron. I know it looks like just a glass bead, or a marble, but I can assure you it is so much more. If I light it up from behind, like this, you can see there are some blemishes and uneven spots inside, so it looks even more like a cheap bauble than anything of significance. However, it took the brilliance of Sir Oberon the Blue to discover its hidden secrets. If you shine light through it, like this, at just the right place, look on the wall over there. See? That shiny writing! 

   Erat annus mortem est igni
   Annus doloris
   Annus exiti.

And if you shine it from other side, look:

   Erat finis historiae
   Erat saeculum novum
   Anno ignis renati.

Since it’s discovery, it has been studied by hundreds of experts and scholars. Sir Oberon himself spent many years examining it closely, before sharing it with the wider intellectual community. Nobody has been able to replicate the fine structures buried inside the Sphere; in fact, the researchers say that it appears to be completely natural!

There’s lots more I could tell you about this, but I think I’ll just leave you with the knowledge that today, you’ve seen with your very own eyes, an object, and a message, from our prehistory, and the oldest object on Tem!